Proem
The classification detailed below does not refer to the beautiful and oft lauded genitalia of the female of the species but instead is an excursive investigation into the common traits and characteristics evidenced and present in guys that are cunts. There are many different traits that can contribute to one being a cunt. Often a human being or "guy" will exhibit the traits common to the cunt but may in fact not be scientifically classified as a cunt. In evidence of this I point to the case of Mohammed Ali. Arrogance is a common and virulent attribute of the cunt. Now you might think that Mohammed Ali referring to himself as "The Greatest" would bring him and his ostentatiously displayed arrogance into the realm of cuntdom. You would be wrong, he is awesome. If you do not think so then you may even be a cunt yourself (or just a fan of "Smoking" Joe Frazier). However a guy is a cunt when he displays multiple traits of cuntdom or as I shall now refer to them "cuntraits". Do not worry if you do not understand that word it is a very technical doctors term. You are not expected to understand it but should be aware that this investigation is intended for academic use and is little or no use to the general public. I repeat Do Not Worry! Not understanding the term cuntraits is not itself a cuntrait. I shall now detail the said cuntraits.
Traits au Cunt
1) "Speaking for the people"
2) Being a sports nutrionist
3) Working in advertising (see Bill Hicks for more evidence on this cuntrait)
4) Arrogance
5) A distinct lack of manners
6) Self Importance (often exhibited by an inability to queue)
7) A preference for murder
8) Hair awareness or the technical term Hairwareness (see DSM IV)
9) Racism, Nationalism and many other isms
10) People who require your trust, many say "trust me". Trust me I have interviewed many of them.
11) Owners of horns. In history the ownership of horns is often tied with the paradigm of cunt visa v the vikings. A race who made history as the inventors of serial rape and innovators in the field of chair tipping. Not to mention numerous occasions of murder and pillage. That is not mentioned.
12) People policing nottingham, most notably the head of this organization.
13) People wearing track gear and not even knowing where the track is.
14) Emptiers of the biscuit jar
15) Incest. Inbreeding is natures way of calling you a cunt.
16) Guys who find themselves at odds with batman
17) Rapists (casual, serial and professional)
18) People who leave the fridge/freezer door open and/or leave empty glasses lying around. General carelessness, especially in another persons home is a distinct cuntrait.
19) People who relate the following facts "tomatoes are fruits""it's past midnight so it's actually tomorrow" "dinosaurs are birds" "henry VIII only had 7 wives" "napoleon was actually average height for his time" "your a massive wanker" "that's my seat" "there's no more" "the world is going to end" "don't do that it will give you cancer" "there are too many people here" "there aren't enough people here" "i'm bored"
20) People who deny Jesus was the tallest Jew ever. He was on a stick and everything. It was on a hill too. How tall is that? Just look at Woody Allen he's proper tiny.
21) Venerators of the gun.
22) Polar neck jumper wearers. Just why? That's what a scarf is for. Swoosh your polar neck I dare you to try. Can you strangle a man with a polar neck that your wearing? No. The scarf however is both a natty accessory and stylish weapon.
23) Condescension. You should never talk down to someone. Come on you know that you are a big boy.
24) A common cuntrait is the employment of such phrases as: 24/7, all the w's, visa v, legend, lmao, lol .etc
25) An inability to express oneself as evidenced by an overuse of the phrases :"like" "yeah" "know what i mean" No sir i do not know what you mean, perhaps if your sentence had been more than series of allusions and invisible reference points we could have come to a common understanding. I am not psychic.
26) People who are "psychic".
27) Dream tellers. I have done an exhaustive study and the general consensus is that nobody gives a flying fuck about the mad shit that went through your head while you were horizontal and alone.
28) Employers of unneeded violence.
29) Absenteeism. This is only if the person was meant to be there. Unexplained absences and explanations that are clearly false or merit no absence.
30) That guy who puts empty packages back rather than binning them. Like cereal boxes, crisps packets and drinks cartons.
31) Thieves.
32) The authors of viruses. We have yet to come up with an explanation for their existence which just adds to their cuntvalue.
33) People who suggest you learn a skill yet their only discernible skill is in being a cunt.
34) People who acquire surplus ID.
35) Being the man.
36) People who change direction when walking right in front of you slowly with no indication.
37) Slow walkers.
38) People who claim to be jedi yet lack force potential. This is another ongoing scientific study.
39) People who rain on your parade.
40) People who have directionless and pent up anger. Yet no ambition to couple it with in order to become a successful conqueror. For instance Genghis Kahn was a serendipitous culmination of near bottomless rage and can do attitude that resulted in one of the worlds biggest empires.
41) Inappropriate use of foreign languages. You see "Traits au Cunt" above. That is a cuntrait.
42) Xenophobia
43) Bursting from somethings chest.
44) The application of boot polish to your face in order to play "the negro".
45) Engaging in sex with other species.
46) Ownership of too many lamps.
47) Overly quote peppered speech.
48) Running and owning a fair ground ride.
49) Selling cigarettes to children.
50) Pedophilia. Regardless of the level of activity, any amount of involvement with pedophilia. This is self explanatory.
These are just 50 of the many cuntraits that I use to calculate a persons cuntvalue. Obviously I cannot possibly expect you to have the multiple doctorates needed in order to understand the complexities that contribute to a mans cuntvalue. The above terms are in laymans terms so that you may comprehend what a cuntrait consists of. I have kept the scientific names for them private to make this study more accessible my the general public. If you are also a scientist studying the field of the historology, genetics and sociology of men who are cunts (which I very much doubt) then I am sorry for dumbing this study down but you are far outnumbered by the general public. I give you my most sincere apology for doing so.
Traits au Cunt
1) "Speaking for the people"
2) Being a sports nutrionist
3) Working in advertising (see Bill Hicks for more evidence on this cuntrait)
4) Arrogance
5) A distinct lack of manners
6) Self Importance (often exhibited by an inability to queue)
7) A preference for murder
8) Hair awareness or the technical term Hairwareness (see DSM IV)
9) Racism, Nationalism and many other isms
10) People who require your trust, many say "trust me". Trust me I have interviewed many of them.
11) Owners of horns. In history the ownership of horns is often tied with the paradigm of cunt visa v the vikings. A race who made history as the inventors of serial rape and innovators in the field of chair tipping. Not to mention numerous occasions of murder and pillage. That is not mentioned.
12) People policing nottingham, most notably the head of this organization.
13) People wearing track gear and not even knowing where the track is.
14) Emptiers of the biscuit jar
15) Incest. Inbreeding is natures way of calling you a cunt.
16) Guys who find themselves at odds with batman
17) Rapists (casual, serial and professional)
18) People who leave the fridge/freezer door open and/or leave empty glasses lying around. General carelessness, especially in another persons home is a distinct cuntrait.
19) People who relate the following facts "tomatoes are fruits""it's past midnight so it's actually tomorrow" "dinosaurs are birds" "henry VIII only had 7 wives" "napoleon was actually average height for his time" "your a massive wanker" "that's my seat" "there's no more" "the world is going to end" "don't do that it will give you cancer" "there are too many people here" "there aren't enough people here" "i'm bored"
20) People who deny Jesus was the tallest Jew ever. He was on a stick and everything. It was on a hill too. How tall is that? Just look at Woody Allen he's proper tiny.
21) Venerators of the gun.
22) Polar neck jumper wearers. Just why? That's what a scarf is for. Swoosh your polar neck I dare you to try. Can you strangle a man with a polar neck that your wearing? No. The scarf however is both a natty accessory and stylish weapon.
23) Condescension. You should never talk down to someone. Come on you know that you are a big boy.
24) A common cuntrait is the employment of such phrases as: 24/7, all the w's, visa v, legend, lmao, lol .etc
25) An inability to express oneself as evidenced by an overuse of the phrases :"like" "yeah" "know what i mean" No sir i do not know what you mean, perhaps if your sentence had been more than series of allusions and invisible reference points we could have come to a common understanding. I am not psychic.
26) People who are "psychic".
27) Dream tellers. I have done an exhaustive study and the general consensus is that nobody gives a flying fuck about the mad shit that went through your head while you were horizontal and alone.
28) Employers of unneeded violence.
29) Absenteeism. This is only if the person was meant to be there. Unexplained absences and explanations that are clearly false or merit no absence.
30) That guy who puts empty packages back rather than binning them. Like cereal boxes, crisps packets and drinks cartons.
31) Thieves.
32) The authors of viruses. We have yet to come up with an explanation for their existence which just adds to their cuntvalue.
33) People who suggest you learn a skill yet their only discernible skill is in being a cunt.
34) People who acquire surplus ID.
35) Being the man.
36) People who change direction when walking right in front of you slowly with no indication.
37) Slow walkers.
38) People who claim to be jedi yet lack force potential. This is another ongoing scientific study.
39) People who rain on your parade.
40) People who have directionless and pent up anger. Yet no ambition to couple it with in order to become a successful conqueror. For instance Genghis Kahn was a serendipitous culmination of near bottomless rage and can do attitude that resulted in one of the worlds biggest empires.
41) Inappropriate use of foreign languages. You see "Traits au Cunt" above. That is a cuntrait.
42) Xenophobia
43) Bursting from somethings chest.
44) The application of boot polish to your face in order to play "the negro".
45) Engaging in sex with other species.
46) Ownership of too many lamps.
47) Overly quote peppered speech.
48) Running and owning a fair ground ride.
49) Selling cigarettes to children.
50) Pedophilia. Regardless of the level of activity, any amount of involvement with pedophilia. This is self explanatory.
These are just 50 of the many cuntraits that I use to calculate a persons cuntvalue. Obviously I cannot possibly expect you to have the multiple doctorates needed in order to understand the complexities that contribute to a mans cuntvalue. The above terms are in laymans terms so that you may comprehend what a cuntrait consists of. I have kept the scientific names for them private to make this study more accessible my the general public. If you are also a scientist studying the field of the historology, genetics and sociology of men who are cunts (which I very much doubt) then I am sorry for dumbing this study down but you are far outnumbered by the general public. I give you my most sincere apology for doing so.
